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Autocorrected holiday texts turnip turns up volume, weightlifter pumpkin pie pumping iron, groovy hippy gravy boat & masher nervous sweet potato sweats.
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Criminal cat commits kitty litter littering, catnip public intoxication, noisy night crash disturbing the peace, and petty theft pat stealing crimes.
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Family knocking on door is suspicious when mom in bed with wine and book says she’s wrapping presents after Christmas.
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Birds see alligator's symbiotic relationship with bird as immunity.
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At party of food mascots, someone yells "Let's break bread"' and Pillsbury Doughboy gets killed.
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Cat new to dog's home assumes leadership role in household.
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A Buddhist monk's thoughts during his meditation drift to Homer Simpson.
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Firefighters are too relaxed by smells when responding to fire at aromatherapy candle store.
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An abstract painter hopes his painting will be moved over to the realism section.
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Old MacDonald sells his farm animals to a meat wholesaler so he can get some rest in his retirement.